Lost in Amsterdam

After flying for 15 hours, I finally arrived in Amsterdam. Saw in shock the exchange rate: 165 Euros for $300. The first time Rose and I went to Europe almost 7 years ago the exchange rate was almost reversed.
Found my hotel, took a quick shower and headed out. A beautiful day filled with orange soccer fanatics, coffeeshops and bars that serve pancakes. Most of the evening was filled walking around the city, just trying to get my bearings and adjust to the news I'm still digesting. In the end, I just felt lost. Thank God it was in Amsterdam.

Little update

I forgot the cable for my digital camera, so no images until Sunday. I'm in my hometown Bocholt now, feeling like an actor in the Twilight Zone. Almost nothing has changed here, the little corners that I used to hang out as a kid are still there, the snack shack with chicken and fries.

I moved away from here more than 20 years ago and time has stood still. I see names in telephone books that I recognize and I wonder: Would we have anything to say to each other if I picked up the phone? I doubt it. I went to a restaurant yesterday that my father loved to frequent and the menu is still the same. It almost felt like I was a small kid again, asking if I could get the mixed grill plate.

My father wanted a colorful funeral. I brought my black suit but I will go shopping for a crazy tie today. Red/Purple - whatever. And, as an avid coffee drinker, he wanted coffee beans in his grave. Bizarre? Sure. But this wish has a very endearing quality to it.

10 things i learned (re-learned) while being in Europe

1. The US Dollar is worth nothing. I exchanged $300 at Schiphol and got 165 Euros back.
2. Coffeeshops are basically done starting July 1 when the smoking ban will become effective in the Netherlands
3. I had no idea how ugly my hometown was.
4. People in small towns stare at strangers. For a long time.
5. The strongest Wifi signal can be found at McDonalds
6. National pride of a European nation rises and falls with their wins/losses in the European cup
7. Too much meat in Germany.
8. German radio stations blow.
9. The sun is up until almost 11pm. It rocks in Europe, would hate it in Los Angeles. Can you imagine not having the merciful darkness taking over during 90+ degree days?
10. German Beer is good.

Thoughts while flying to the funeral

Let’s face it: For a lucky few, life will be a business of evenly rationed suffering: horrible parents to start off, the typical humiliations at school, common injuries throughout puberty, the love of your love doesn’t want to bother with you or cheats on you, maybe another love affair gone terribly wrong, even a marriage busted. Our parents die, we face our own steady demise. Sure, that’s enough suffering for a lifetime. The lucky ones will only have those few torturous moments. The rest will have to face the unspeakable – rape, murder, child abuse, dead children, torture. As if your daily world turned into gates of hell. Through no fault of your own.

Whenever we face suffering, most of us grew up with the idea that your pain is punishment for sinful behavior. Nice theory but not really worth discussing. Feels very Stone Age and too simple for all this complexity surrounding us. And whenever I read stories about dictators living swanky lives, I continue to believe that this theory might work intellectually for primates but not for humans.

So, when I entered the dark ages AKA puberty, I started to subscribe to the notion of suffering as a test or something to improve me, make me a better person. Frankly, this thinking helped me through a lot of surgeries, broken bones, broken hearts and lonely nights. But, in the back of my mind, I knew it was another bullshit theory to keep me from going nuts. When one of my best friends died of brain cancer, there was nothing redeeming about it. Nothing improved because of his suffering, nobody learned anything from it. It was just horrible to see him dying. Period. There goes that theory out the window.

Well, last but not least, there was still the hope that al our suffering is rewarded by eternal life in Heaven. Or as the bible says: “Heaven is where God will wipe away all tears from our faces.” At this point, I subscribe to Marilynne Robinson’s quote: “It takes nothing from the loveliness of the verse to say that is exactly what will be required.”

Given all the suffering we experienced on a personal level and all over the world throughout my lifetime, I can’t even imagine how Heaven is going to make up for it. It might be a good idea for someone (God, Allah, Jehova, whatever) to wipe our tears off now. Or maybe I’m just going to peek over to the other side and check out this atheistic thing. Sounds pretty rational to me. And often more promising than waiting for Heaven.

My father died

I just found out that my father passed away this morning, German time at 8.50 am. I will be heading out to Germany to attend the funeral. As you can imagine, it's a confusing and rather painful time. I'll use this blog to write about my experience going back to my hometown: a lot of pictures, a lot of memories.

Stay tuned.

That's love

A couple that supports each other in two wildly different career paths, a million books in 11 buildings and an amazing passion for books. What's not to love?

A demented Norman Rockwell

Gregory Crewdson stages events in photographic art, blurring the distinction between reality and fiction. He utilizes the suburban landscape and presents a disturbing view of everyday American life. A critic called him a "demented Norman Rockwell."

I saw his work at the Luhring Augustine a few weeks ago in Manhattan and was immediately fascinated and sucked in by these staged images.



Being a fan of Blue Velvet, my mind always wanders through Crewdson's and Lynch's imagery when driving through beautiful and wide streets in Pasadena - perfectly manicured yards and Old Town USA feel. What happens behind those drapes? What is hidden behind the inviting smile? I wonder.

This is just plain awful

I'm a big Obama fan but all three candidates embarrassed themselves while appealing to the WWE crowd. Are Presidents running for Class President now? What's next? Hillary making out with The Bachelor? McCain on Survivor? Obama on Big Brother? I'm disgusted and appalled what's some call American Politics.







Well, Obama, since I intend to vote for you, consider my following hobbies/affinities: Electronic Music, Wine and Running. Let's run at Griffith Park for an hour, head home, open a bottle of wine and you spin some sweet Obama music at sunset. Deal?

Twistori

Inspired by Wefeelfine, Twistori explores the Twitterverse, pulling tweets containing keywords such as I love, I think, I hate, I believe, I wish and I feel. Explore the feelings of the Twitterverse here.

It's been quiet lately

A lot of traveling. thoughts to share.

I'm in New York now. When I opened my room door today, I saw the USA Today on the doorstep. Why would you read the USA Today in New York? Isn't there a quality, local paper available? It's a mystery to me that USA has record circulations and insightful papers are losing readerships left and right? Don't you get all the news in the USA Today hours before on the Web? I don't think there's a lot of analysis happening in the colorful fish wrap. Or is it our snack mentality that makes USA Today so attractive to people?

How German am I?

Neat little test, comparing my lifestyle with the average Hans. Let's see (I took the male test):

- I get up before 6am. Germans get up 6.23am
- I take 10 minutes in the bathroom, the average German more than 26 minutes. German women take only 3 minutes more
- I'm optimistic in the morning. 79% of Germans as well
- I can cook. Just like 80% of German men.
- I watch around 2 hours of TV a day. Germans watch 3.5 hours
- Biggest shock: I think women should continue working after having a baby. Only 38% agree with me.
- I participated in demonstrations. Only 44% of Germans did the same
- I wouldn't defend Germany in the case of a way. I'm in the minority: 62% of Germans
- I go to be around 10.30 pm. Almost average: Germans go to bed at 10.47pm

Well, I only scored 4 points. I'm not an average German. I should give my passport back. Oh wait...

Social Media Rap

Chuck at Pop Labs raps about social media:

I surf the web, I used to watch TV
now I'm logged into Joost, it's commercial free
lets see where I want to go
and who I want to know
connecting people with people with web 2.0
I don't use email unless I'm at my job
want the next post, I subscribe to the blog
I'm easy to find
I'm always online
social networking sites, I think I have nine
I use myspace to promote my music
I get friends and album sales that's how I do it
but tell me have you heard
about the new word
something like myspace but they call it virb
always something new, I'm a start creatin
I'll make a brand new facebook application
uploading pictures and mp3's
update my profile and hit ctrl D
can't stop what I started, it's getting ridiculous
social book mark it, add it del.icio.us
some can't take it but I just can't quit
go to Imeem and listen to my playlist
watching videos on my You Tube channel
clickin so much, my mouse smoking like a candle
I'm online for hours, addicted to the power
10 tabs open on a firefox browser
I must be going crazy cause I can't get enough
I guess I'm addicted to social media

What seems small to you might make a big difference

When you work in media, you receive a lot of junk during the holidays: Cups, mugs, blankets - you name it.
Yahoo! sent me a certificate for a charity and I donated $100 to a school through DonorsChoose.org. The second grade classroom needed literature for their classroom library. The school itself doesn't have a library and no books. (Don't get me started on the state of the US education system.) The teacher asked for $580 for books on tape, classroom library furniture and a listening center.

Last Friday I received a little package from DonorsChoose.org, containing Thank you letters from the kids and pictures.







It warmed my heart that this little donation made such a difference.
$100 can buy you a nice dinner for 2. Or change lives.

Thanks for the concern

I received quite a few emails about my cruel April Fools joke. We're not going anywhere. Above the reason why we stay. (A trip from LA to NY compressed in 4 minutes.) Who wants to leave such a beautiful country?

Going back to the roots

It took sleepless nights, evenings filled with discussions and a lot of thinking but we finally decided to leave the US and move back to Germany. No, it's not the beer or the sausages or the amazing German humor. It's more the realization that I miss the homeland quite a bit and I would love for my wife and daughter to experience Germany first hand. We'll see where our journey takes us. But for now, the first stop will be Germany.

Stay tuned.